


What Could Possibly Go Wrong

by StrawhatsAndDelibirds



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Human AU, M/M, Swapfell, Underfell, baby bones, characters from an rp group
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7817041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawhatsAndDelibirds/pseuds/StrawhatsAndDelibirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A human verse with mine and three (or four depending on how far I take it) people's characters, seven of the twelve are different flavors of Sans, and four Gasters, so already we're off to a wonderful start.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Well this was ending in no way but disaster.

Even now, before anything had even started he could tell. It was one of this family’s quirky charms, and it kept them on their toes, but he could hope that it’d at least start later in the day. Four in the morning was just too early for all this bullshit. At least he could shove Jamie’s clothes and toothbrush into his bag with his own clothes. It was one of the perks of having a young child, and he’d enjoy the fact that he’d managed to save some space as took everything out of the trunk so his larger bag wouldn’t crush the two smaller bags. There was even a spot on the side where he could hang his dress and not have to worry about it being wrinkled in the suitcase. All this and the back window is still clear. Willow you are a packing genius.

Now that that’s taken care of, he’s free to just take it easy until everyone’s ready to go. No real sense on sitting down yet, considering that’s what most of the day was going to be. He feels like absolute shit, but all things considered, he wants to see who else is in the same boat as him. Misery did enjoy company after all.

Well Rudy already had his stuff ready, and was sitting in William’s van. The fact that he looked just fine might’ve annoyed him had his son looked wide awake. What sort of bullshit was in play there, where they were both awake and ready to leave? Iam was wide awake, but in more of the painful way. The poor bastard looked as if he had too much coffee, and was making sure everything in the back was perfect, and he could already tell his poor cousin was going to have to switch with his grumpy husband at some point. And in a shocking turn of events, it seemed like Vahn was a morning person, but not a travel person. It was like someone had shoved the stick up his ass even further. He wasn’t even sure that was possible, and had he not felt like he’d fall asleep at any moment against the van, he’d probably poke fun at him to see what would happen.

He’d also leave him be because he was probably going to be keeping Iam on track until the fact that he has had altogether too much coffee starts to wear off. And maybe also because he seemed to be in charge of Sean, who was following him around like a little sleepy duckling as he made sure the Iam was in fact okay, and if the back window was clear.

Watching him ask his barely awake child all the standard pre road trip questions (“do you have everything”, “did you use the bathroom yet”, “you didn’t forget anything”) and he couldn’t help but wonder: Where was Jamie?

His question was soon answered by the attempts for fearsome sounding stomps that he had become very well versed with in the time since Jamie started living with him. Even if there was no blood between them, Jamie was most certainly his son. He stomped right out of the house, and ignored the standard pre road trip questions from Iam and instead just sleepily stomped passed the poor jittery man and straight to him, where he chose to instead grumpily cling to his leg. Iam looked over, but seeing that he had it covered, went back to making sure everything was perfect before they left. He turned his attention to the child on his leg.

“So are you gonna answer him or not?” He got an answer back that was basically muffled whiney nonsense. Really it was too early for this shit, so he’s just gonna make a guess.

“Did someone already ask you?” There was a nod against his leg.

“So does that mean you’re ready to go?” Another nod.

“Alright, but I’m gonna be pissed if I find out you’re lying to me.” The last whiney muffled remark was most certainly a “fuck you”. It was to be expected. He’d pick the boy up. He’d go around and put him in his seat and buckle him in. Might as well let him sleep some of the way. It works out better this way. There’d be less kicking and less screaming when he eventually gets bored and decides this whole thing is more trouble than its worth.

Walking around the car, he could hear snippets of whatever Sam’s boyfriend’s brother’s name was, lecturing Felix and Astral about how he wanted his car to come back in the same condition that he brought it here in, or there’d be hell to pay. Felix was on his phone, and not only was he sure that Astral was asleep, but he also had his feet on the seats. It was too early to really feel much of anything, but he was proud of Astral. He truly was his son. Felix was giving a good amount of sass, so props to him too. He wouldn’t say anything, and would just let him deal with it himself. The last thing he wanted was to get dragged into something before they leave while he’s holding a very sleepy and grumpy child.

It would’ve been way easier to buckle Jamie in had he not fallen asleep. He kept falling forward and forcing him to catch him and push him back into his seat. Had this been a different situation, he might’ve woken him up. Even with awkwardly having to hold him in place while he buckled him in, it was a million times better than having him wake up a little bit.

He could see Vahn doing the same with Sean when he glanced over as he was going back over to his side. Might as well get in. He could see Sam and his boyfriend walking over, and Iam going to lock the front door.

Before he could actually get in, Rudy rolled down his window and started to talk to him.

“Hey Willow. Before you get into your van, I thought you should know you stepped in the neighbour’s dog shit when you were going around to buckle in your son.” And then he rolled back up his window.

God today was gonna fucking suck. He wiped off his shoe on the driveway, hoping that something fucking awful was already wrong with that neighbour, or else there was going to be when he came back. It was almost like it didn’t matter that he wiped off his shoe before he got in the car, because now that he was in here properly, he could definitively smell of old burgers and fries that clung to the fabric of the car. He’d be less pissed off about this later, because his trailer smelt worse in all honesty. But that’d be later when he wasn’t pissed off about everything.

He was gonna take a page outta Jamie and Astral’s book. He was just gonna go back to fucking sleep. Hopefully the next disaster can wait until he’s at least a little bit more awake.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Waking up was a hard enough thing to do when you were laying down in your bed in the comfort of your own home. This was some completely different bullshit. Because he could feel the car shake him as they went over bumps on the road, and that was fucking awful. Not to mention the fact that the first thing he was greeted by, was a bunch of trees zipping by them. And then when he tried to move, he was held back by a seat belt. This was just one bullshit thing after another, and he had no idea where the fuck he was.

Before he could raise any objections to this situation, his dad chimed in without even bothering to look up from his book.

“Morning, sunshine. Did’ya sleep well?” It felt like he was being mocked here, because he was only ever called sunshine when he was being teased for being grumpy. And that sure as fuck gave him a good reason to be grumpy. Because no one liked someone who was being an asshole. And he sure as fuck was going to voice his feelings on this situation. Because like hell was he just going to let his dad win.

“Fuck you, this is fucking stupid. Where the fuck are we going?” He huffed, throwing himself back into his seat, not caring that his feet kicked the back of the seat in front of him. If he was going to have to suffer through this whole ordeal, so was everyone else.

“Well we’re off to mine and your uncles’ cousin’s wedding. But since it’s so far, we’re going to a hotel about half way there. We should get there around supper time.” That was going to take literally all his life by the time they got there. It was probably like noon or something right now, cause they couldn’t have left that early. No one in his house (except maybe Felix) did mornings, and he vaguely remembered being up this morning, and everyone already doing stuff. So they probably left at like nine or something, and it felt a lot later than when they left this morning. He’d be fucking pissed if they ate without him, so that probably meant that they were gonna stop soon.

“So how much longer to we fuckin got? Four, Five more goddamn hours?” At least his ipod was decently charged, he should be fine for most of it. It was gonna be something awful, but he felt like he had the right to know just how bad this was really going to be.

“I wish, try another seven.” He felt the rage boil up in him. He was going to be stuck in a stupid fucking car for another stupid seven fucking hours?! How the hell was he going to keep himself busy for that long?! This was just so fucking stupid!

“WHY THE FUCK IS IT TAKING SO LONG?!” He asked kicking the seat in front of him to get out some of this never ending anger before he blew up.

“Because for some reason, she couldn’t convince him to move over here, and all things considered she’s not terrible. And stop kicking the seat. As funny as it’d be to see a fight happen so early on in the trip, he’s driving, and I’d rather not get into a crash because you’re throwing a temper tantrum.”

“Don’t you have some stuff in your bag you could play with for a bit? You did say that all your stuff was ready and charged up.” Sam suggested, leaning back to look at him, and putting a comforting hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Honestly he didn’t care, because if he had to suffer, then everyone had to suffer.

“But. I. Don’t. Want. To. Do. Any. Of. That. Shit.” He said, giving a solid kick to the back of the seat with each word. He knew for a fact that he was being a brat, but he felt that he had earned that right the moment he was forced to go on this stupid fucking trip. He could hear whatever his name is sharply inhale as he tried not to lose it then and there, and that was what made if fucking funny. He sure as fuck wasn’t going to stop. He earned this.

“If you don’t stop, you’re going to go sit in the boring car with your Uncle Vahn.”

“I. Don’t. Want. To. Sit. In. That. God. Damn. Car. Even. If. They’re. All. Fucking. Boring.” Unless their van had a dvd that was playing fucking old people shows because it was full of old people. Sean really got the short end of the stick here. He pitied him, but not enough to trade spots with him. The poor bastard made his choice.

“I don’t really think you’re getting a say in this, kiddo. I think next stop we can make we’re gonna see if we can get them to let us have Sean for a bit.” He couldn’t see it, but he could definitely tell that he was talking through clenched teeth. As funny as that was, he was also trying to get him to switch vans. And that was punishable by seat kicks.

“Hey babe, could you ask them how far until the next rest stop? Because I’m getting really tempted to just pull over to the side of the road and switch right now.” And then Sam pulled out his phone and started texting. This was fucking bullshit, why was he going to have to ride in the more boring car?!

“Dad what the fuck?! You’re just gonna let them trade me off like this?!”

“I told you that if you didn’t behave, you were gonna have to ride in their van. It’s weird, it’s almost like actions have consequences or something. And it’s not like I’m giving you away. It more like a time out. I can’t imagine you won’t be back come next rest stop anyways.” This was fucking bullshit and stupid and he hated it. And now since he had no reason not to, he was going to kick the seat the entire way to the rest stop. That would teach him for wanting to get rid of him like this.

He was actually glad that the rest stop came when it did. Who knew kicking would make his legs so tired. Whatever the fuck his name was deserved it. He was an asshole for making him sit in possibly the most boring car ever. It was gonna make the seven hours feel like seven million years. Who even knew when the next stop would be? He could’ve died of boredom by then! And he’d be stuck with Astral’s stupid fucking therapist. He better not try any doctor stuff. Dr. Dean already did enough of that shit as it was.

He could guess that Sam already filled in the other car, because Sean had all his stuff in his bag and ready to switch when they stopped. None of his stuff had been taken out anyways, so he didn’t have to grab anything.

It was pretty funny to see Sean get kisses on his forehead from his dads. That must’ve been so embarrass-

“Now try not to be too much trouble in time out, my little Jelly Bean.” His dad cooed, giving him a kiss on the forehead where everyone could see it. He knew damn well what he was doing. It was a fucking dick move and it got an embarrassed screech out of him. He had it in him to give one last kick, and he gave it to his dad’s shin, before grabbing his bag and storming off to the other van. At least no one would try and humiliate him there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe a violence warning for this chapter, but its also from the point of view of an eight year old hemophobe, so keep in mind its not as bad as he's making this out to be

They had barely started driving again, and already this was hell. He had thought the other car was bad, but this was way worse than anything he could’ve dreamt of.  It was everything that was boring about the other car, but somehow this was even worse. He absolutely hated this and his legs were too sore to kick seats. This was the worst punishment ever, without a doubt.

It wasn’t even that much different, but it felt so much worse. It had basically all the same parts as the other van, but this one smelt like old people and he was ninety percent sure that this was the kind of music that Dr. Dean played in his office when he was trying to get him to relax and also talk about his feelings.

Come to think of it, Uncle Rudy was Astral’d doctor. This was probably a trap, because this could just be a way to get him to talk about his feelings. It was bad enough to have to talk about feelings with just the one guy, but this was almost an entire car full of people. This was either unplanned, or his dad was an evil genius, and he had a feeling that his dad was just an evil genius.

He’d have to keep an eye on him. Because doctors were crafty types, and then he’s gonna get him the moment his guard’s down. If this guy was crafty enough to be Astral’s doctor, then he was someone to fear indeed. He’d just turn in is seat so that he could stare him down. Nothing was gonna get passed him. It was a little hard uncomfortable, but the moment his guard was down it’s gonna be feelings town and he was going to ask him all about how things are going at home and how he’s been sleeping. And that was fucking unacceptable.

He was a really crafty one, because he didn’t look like he was going to do anything but enjoy the scenery that was the odd fucking tree. But he wasn’t going to fool him. He was too smart to fall for a trap like that.

This went on for about five minutes before Uncle Rudy looked over to him with a mildly annoyed look.

“Can I help you Jamie?” He asked with a sigh.

“I KNEW IT! YOU’RE NOT GONNA PULL ANY OF YOUR DOCTOR BULLSHIT ON ME! HA!” He sat down crossing his arms proudly. He didn’t say anything, so he must’ve known he was beat. He was smart enough to be Astral’s doctor, so he must’ve been smart enough to know when he’s lost too. He vaguely caught glances from both Uncle Iam and Uncle Vahn from the rear view mirror. They knew they lost too because they were probably in on it too. That just made the victory all the more sweet.

His dad was probably going to be so pissed about how he lost and he didn’t know it had happened yet. He hoped that he was going to get to tell him the next stop, because that meant he got to rub it in and see him react in person. It was going to be perfect.

But Tybalt or whatever the fuck his name was didn’t seem to care. And that fucking pissed him off, because he should have a reaction too, because that was his dad that he, an eight year old, had just fucking schooled. But he didn’t care about what happened, and what the fuck was up with that?! He had just accomplished something great, and he wasn’t giving it the attention it deserved. He knew that it was fucking burning up everyone else in the car up inside, and they were probably doing their best not to say anything, because then he would win. But the joke was on them because he knew that he won, because he was the fucking best. But this asshole didn’t even care!

This required some fucking action. And Jamie Brooke wasn’t one not to take action in these types of situations.

“Hey, why the fuck aren’t you saying anything?! Your dad just got fucking schooled and you’re acting like you don’t fucking care! What the fuck?!” His arms were no longer crossed, because he had an arm on the arm rest of his booster seat so he could reach across the way and poke at this fucking jerk. Who the fuck did he even think he was, just ignoring him like this?

“Hey! Stop ignoring me!” He kept poking, only to get a response that he would have never expected ever in his life. A fully grown man fucking hissed at him. And that did stop him for a bit. Because honestly who the fuck hisses at someone? What the fuck?

But he wasn’t going to give up. If he did, that meant he lost, and he was gonna be two for two and then brag about it to his dad, because that’ll teach him to just ditch him in an even more boring car like this. So he’d poke him again, and another thing that had happened that he would have never expected to happen to him ever in his life. And certainly not by a fully grown human man.

He bit his finger.

He bit his finger and wouldn’t let go, and it hurt! It felt like he was going to bite his finger clean off. But he wouldn’t let go!

There were faint sounds of horror, and he was pretty sure that they weren’t coming from him. But what he was sure that he saw was blood. There was blood, and it looked like that was probably a lot. Like enough that he was going to die.

It only got worse as he was vaguely aware that someone had pulled him loose from the jaws of this fucking lunatic. He was sure that there was more blood now. He was getting light headed, probably from all the blood loss.

These were going to be his final moments. And neither his dad nor his brothers were with him, and he was honestly scared. He wanted them to be there so bad, but they didn’t even know that any of this stuff was happening because they were in completely different cars. His vision was getting all blurry, and he was just so scared. He didn’t want to die yet, he at least wanted to be with them one last time. That’s all he wanted.

And as everything drifted off into nothingness, he was sent off by the muffled sounds of panic of voices that didn’t belong to the people he needed.


	4. Chapter 4

“Knock knock.” Sean started, completely ignoring the fact that he was possibly better equipped than anyone to stay perfectly silent and not contribute anything to any conversation this entire trip.

“Who’s there?” Sam asked, encouraging this act for what was now the fourth time since they had left the little parking lot of that truck stop.

“Repeat.”

“Who’s there?” And this continued on for a solid minute before it melted into giggles.

To think that moving Jamie over to the other van would make the ride a lot quieter was an absolutely foolish thing to think. Sure it wasn’t the same mostly amusing kind of chaos that Jamie brought, but this was something else entirely. He was now trapped in a vehicle that had only taken moments after getting back on the road before the puns began.

Normally he was pretty indifferent towards puns, but considering the sheer speed and how unrelenting they were, he was already tired and missed the antics of his son. They probably weren’t even appreciating how much of a character he was. He had nothing against Sean, but it probably would have been best if he had taken that last rest stop to switch with Astral. He had always been one for jokes like this. Maybe it’d get him to socialize a bit. It was a long shot, but it would be nice. He worried him.

But either way, he’d just have to wait until they got to the next stop. As wonderful as Jamie was, he was more of an acquired taste, and took a little bit to warm up to. He didn’t doubt that they had the patience, but he had a feeling that they wouldn’t say no to him wanting him back. He also had a feeling that knowing about how a time out for this trip now existed, Jamie would also behave a bit better. He’d still be the scamp he always was, but at least he’d probably be able to reign it in a bit.

He wondered if Vahn would text him first, because odds were he would try to tough it out. But at the same time he couldn’t help but wonder if he was worried about his own son, and ending up “corrupted” as a result of his influence. It wasn’t as if Sean wasn’t already exposed to swear words. And there was enough romance in the media so that his shameless flirting wouldn’t make a big difference. It wouldn’t stop Vahn from being an over protective parent though.

His inability to focus on his book thanks to the puns was interrupted when both his and Sam’s phones buzzed. It seemed as though he had been right, but it was a little odd that Vahn would also text him. He seemed to be too proud to do such a thing. It was even a little concerning. Maybe he’d check his messages before he started celebrating.

His stomach dropped when he read the message that he had been sent. Somehow in a car full of adults, his son was bitten to the point where he was bleeding, and fell unconscious. How the fuck did this happen. How the hell had someone managed to hurt his son to that degree. He knew how Jamie was around blood, but still, the boy passed out. And he felt like that was a very good reason to be pissed.

Time came to a crawl as they sped to the next rest stop. He assumed that Sam was filling everyone in, he was actually to mad to care right now. One of his sons needed him and he wasn’t there, and he was pissed off because he didn’t even need to think about when he sent his son over to be in that van because that was a car full of goddamn adults that should know better than to hurt a goddamn eight year old. He was so pissed he was actually shaking. He couldn’t even find the words to describe the rage he felt, and texts alone couldn’t convey just how fucking furious he was. This rest stop couldn’t come soon enough.

The car had yet to come to a complete stop yet, and already he was unbuckled and opening the door. He didn’t have time for it to come to a complete stop, his baby needed him. It took him but a second to flag down the other van and storm over. He’d ignore Vahn for a second and he grabbed the limp child and cradled him tightly to his chest. He’d have to run the cut under some running water, but first he had some choice words to be passed on the psycho who bit his precious baby boy.

“Vahn I don’t want to hear any damn excuses, just tell whoever is responsible for hurting my eight year old child, that if he ever tries to do something like this ever again, I’m going to saw off his goddamn jaw.” His words were silent, as if to keep it a secret between just them, but he was sure that if his teeth clenched any harder, his teeth would actually shatter. Vahn didn’t have any snarky thing to say back. He simply let him storm off into the gas station bathroom and take the least gross sink to turn on the faucet and start it running.

Once the water was a nice enough temperature, he gently held the child’s hand under it. It looked worse than it actually was, but to think that Jamie had to deal with that was simply unacceptable. Annoying or not, he deserved much better than this. He was sure that he had something back in the van to patch up cuts like this. They weren’t that big, but they were still pretty bad looking. It’d need a bandaid, or maybe some gauze considering where both the cuts were. It depended how well he placed the bandages.

He could feel the child in his arms squirm a bit as he came to. Considering it was still bleeding a fair bit, he did his best to keep his attention on him, readjusting him so that he would be looking at him as he came to. He kept the finger still as not to aggravate the wound. His gaze didn’t quite seem steady yet, but his big mismatch eyes managed to focus on his face.

“Dad?” He asked, using the small voice that he saved for moments like this where he was scared to a point where he didn’t want to puff up and insist that he was tough. But he had to be firm in this situation. He had to scold him a little bit, because he doubted that this was something that happened completely unprovoked.

“I’m right here, you’re okay. I’m just rinsing your finger off, and then we’ll go patch it up, okay?” He reassured calmly.

Iam came bursting into the bathroom with his first aid kit. This saved him the trouble of having to go all the way back out to the car to fish his own first aid kit from his bag. You have to be prepared to treat even the most minor wounds when your kid has a defective immune system, luckily Iam was more on the ball than he was. His cousin was a real life saver sometimes.

“Do you need a hand with anything? I’m so sorry Rudy’s talking to him right now.”

“I can patch up Jamie’s finger myself- don’t look at it, Jamie- it’d be a great help if you brought his bag over to our van.”

“Alright, but come get me if you need any help.” He offered again, leaving the kit on the counter.

It was probably less than ideal, but he sat Jamie down on the counter. He opened up the kit, and grabbed the wound cleaner.

“This is going to sting a bit, but that just means that it’s working.” He reassured, pouring the stuff onto both sides of the finger, making sure that he didn’t miss a piece. There were some tiny yelps of pain, but he couldn’t stop. He managed to layer the bandages in such a way that the padded part covered it completely. It might’ve made it hard for him to bend the knuckle, but that was fine.

“Jamie. You need to learn when to stop, okay? Because if you don’t then maybe you won’t just get tiny cuts on your fingers. Not everyone’s going to go easy on you because you’re little. Okay?” It wasn’t surprising that at this minor scolding that the waterworks had been busted out. But regardless, he nodded.

“So you’re going to try and behave, okay?” He got another nod, and he gave his bandaged finger and forehead a kiss each, and picked him back up again. He could immediately feel him hold onto his shirt as he did so. It’d be easier to carry both him and the first aid kit this way.  It’d be a little harder to get him back into the car, but he could manage.

“Don’t make me go back to that car.” He pleaded, being muffled by the shirt he was attempting to hide in.

“You’re staying with me. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay?” He reassured again as they left the bathroom.

“Thanks, dad.”


	5. Chapter 5

He hadn’t been told anything outright, but there was most certainly something amiss. He knew as soon as a text had been sent to Sam and Uncle Willow that something had happened. Moods didn’t just sour like that, and even if he was told not to worry about it by Sam, it didn’t change that he knew for a fact that something was up. Something had happened in one of the other cars no doubt, and he knew he wasn’t going to be getting any answers until they got to the next rest stop.

Since they were going to stop, he decided that he’d get out and stretch his legs. That’d also be what he told them if they asked him why he was up and about. Because there was no way he was going to be missing out on probably the only chance to piece together what had exactly transpired here. He just had to be casual about the way he did this, and listen to see if he could get any clues.

The first and most obvious clue as to what had happened, was that his Uncle Willow had lept from the car and ran over to the car where his parents were, grabbed Jamie and rushed him into the gas station. Maybe he had gotten car sick or something? One clue wasn’t enough to piece things together though, so he’d keep his options clear. There had to be other reasons to run off with someone to the gas station like that. He also wouldn’t carry someone who was carsick like that, but maybe Uncle Willow was just more committed to dadding than he was. But he was going to have to keep his eyes peeled for more clues.

Looking around, he could see his Papa talking to Uncle Rudy by the back of the car while his Dad was looking around in the trunk for something. His Papa kept glancing over at Tybalt, so it had something to do with Tybalt. Especially if Uncle Rudy wasn’t looking at him. If Uncle Rudy was giving you the cold shoulder, that meant that you were in some really serious trouble. Tybalt didn’t seem too bothered by it so maybe the blame was misplaced? It was always easier to be mad at a someone rather than a something.

He then watched his father take off running with the first aide kit. So he was gonna guess that there was an injury of some type and they were gonna go clean it and patch it up. If it was a sick thing, his Dad would have grabbed a different bag. Well there’d really be two bags but that only furthered the fact that this was not a sick thing but a hurt thing.

So he had his when, where, what, and probably his who, all he was missing was his why and how.

Actually he probably already had his why. If the other who was Tybalt, the definite other who (Jamie) must’ve bugged him to the point where he lashed out in some way. Jamie was mostly bark, so if Tybalt did lash out against him, that would be why he wasn’t screaming and yelling about it. And if it was a something not a someone who did it, he’d be yelling about it.

All the pieces were coming together nicely, and he was getting a good feel for what had happened, and he probably knew what was going on. It wasn’t really a good situation, but at least he was in the know now. He was sure that Uncle Willow was going to want to have his son back in his car so they’d both feel better about it. Sam and Mr Eddy had a car kinda like Dad’s, so there would be room for him. But there’d also be the awkward part of telling his parents that he didn’t really wanna be in their car anymore but it wasn’t their fault it was something completely unrelated but still related.

It would be all about how he worded it. His dad was coming back out from the gas station now, and was now going into the middle seats and grabbing his cousin’s bag and bringing it over to Sam’s car. He could see him gathering up all his stuff from the car, and now was as good a time as any to go over and make the request.

“So dad, I was thinking that maybe it’d be best if I stayed in this car with Sam and Mr Eddy. It’s nothing against you guys, but I think it’d be best if I stayed here. I’m okay with sitting in the back so that Uncle Willow and Jamie can sit next to each other. I’ll be so quiet they won’t even know I’m there.” He felt as though he was making a great case for himself.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to be in our car, Sean? You’ll miss out on a bunch of fun car games if you do.” He was pretty sure that it’d just be really awkward for everyone in that car if they did play car games. He might be able to get Papa to play, but he had a feeling that Uncle Rudy and Tybalt wouldn’t be playing, and that it was probably going to be mostly him playing.

“Maybe we can switch after the next rest stop?” His dad was the understanding type, so hopefully he’d just let him do it and he wouldn’t make him ride in the car next to Tybalt after whatever it was that he had done to Jamie. With a sigh, he left his stuff be.

“Alright. I’ll go talk to Uncle Willow and see where it’d be best for you to sit. Can you be a dear and go and grab your booster seat from our car and I’ll go talk to him?” He nodded and then walked over to his parents’ car to go grab his booster seat. There was probably plenty of time before they left, so he could just take his time and walk over. He wasn’t much the running type anyways, so those few times he did were saved for when there was really a reason to run.

It was always a weird thing to hold, but just because of how hard it was at the bottom and the way he was holding it kinda made it feel like he was holding a shield. Now was probably not the time, but it still made carrying it over a little more fun. Even if he was doing this so that he wouldn’t get hurt, there was some joy to be gotten from it.

But he couldn’t exactly stop himself from thinking it, so it might’ve put just a little more pep in his step. Mostly because even if he hadn’t wanted to, he was now no longer going to the car, but rather getting ready to go on a big and important mission. It may not have exactly been the truth, but it made going over there a lot more fun.

And now that he was waiting for them to tell him where his spot was gonna be, he’d get started on deciding what he wanted to do after they got moving. He didn’t see much chance of there being lots of jokes, so that meant he was going to have to go into his bag and find something to do. He spent a lot of time getting ready for this trip, and now he just had to think of what to do with this time, because he had options now.

Maybe now that he had pretended that he had a shield and stuff while he was walking over, maybe he could watch the show that went along with it. He had a bunch of episodes on his phone, and that would probably keep him busy enough until he wanted to play some video games or have a nap. That seemed like a solid enough strategy. It had been a while since he had last seen the first episodes of the show anyways. He knew that they were good ones, so they were going to be a good surprise and make him enjoy the newer episodes to see how all the characters have gotten better and cooler since the beginning.

The choice had been made, and now he had a spot. Uncle Willow would sit in the very back behind Jamie so that he could still be close to him, and he was gonna guess that he was gonna sit next to Jamie for the reason that it was the easier place to put the car seat. He didn’t mind at all. He wasn’t really going to be doing any talking anyways.

His dad gave him a pat on the head and told him to be good, just like he had did when he was first put in this car. And now it was time for him to put his seat belt on and start watching his show.


	6. Chapter 6

He had hated this whole trip. It was all fucking bullshit and not once was it not awful. First his phone died, then he got stuck in a car with a doctor who was trying to sneakily doctor him, the he got bit hard enough so he bled, and then his dad explained what had happened to his brothers and they had seen him cry. He didn’t want any of those things to happen and yet it had happened because his life was always a bunch of shit happening to him that he didn’t want and it wasn’t fair.

Now he was bored and hurt and embarrassed. He was sure that it wasn’t even just his brothers that had seen him cry, and that everyone there had seen him cry and that was just the worst thing that he was going to imagine. Because he wasn’t going to imagine the worst thing imaginable because then he wouldn’t be able to breath probably and that was a lot of bullshit and he wasn’t going to think about that and instead just keep holding onto his dad’s hand with both hands.

It was kinda stupid, and he’d deny it if anyone brought it up, but he held it so that he could feel his pulse. It was kinda an awkward way to hold it and also pull it off, but he was going to do it none the less cause it made him feel better and whoever thought it was weird could just go fuck themselves. It wasn’t even their problem. It was his, and it was going to always be his problem.

But other than just feel his dad’s pulse on his wrist, there wasn’t much else for him to do. He didn’t really wanna talk to anyone because it’d just turn into feelings and feelings were gay and they weren’t going to do that. All there really was to do was to just look around.

The highway was fucking boring. There wasn’t anything out there but a bunch of the fucking colour yellow and road. Farms were stupid and were the worst thing to look at because it was just one fucking ton of the colour yellow. And if he couldn’t feel something better to do he was just going to stay mad about the colour yellow for the next million hours this trip was going to be. There wasn’t really anything else to do besides that. It also felt like something that he could easily do, because much like these fields, his anger was fucking never ending and he would scowl at all this bullshit until it turned into something cool. Like a bunch of dogs or something. Even if he didn’t get to pet a single one, it’d still be pretty cool to see just a bunch of ‘em hanging out and being friends and doing dog stuff.

He lied. He couldn’t keep up being mad about the colour yellow forever. That was getting boring too. There was only so long you could flip off a field before it became clear that the wheat didn’t give a single fuck what you did thought of it. Even if you had put in the effort to let go of your dad’s hand a little bit to do so.

Only this dumb stupid road trip could make being angry boring. He was supposed to behave or whatever so that meant no more kicking seats and bugging people. So that meant that this was going to be the worst trip ever in case this wasn’t already super obvious. And this probably wasn’t even the worst part because there was still the boring wedding and even when he did get his stuff all charged he’d have to listen though a bunch of strangers saying lovey dovey gay shit at each other and he had to not gag when they did it.

It was a load of bullshit was what all this was.

Sean probably wouldn’t be as gay to talk to. He’d probably talk about lego and pranks and jokes and stuff and not about how he was doing just cause he passed out a little. It fucking sucked that he was listening to something already so he didn’t look like he was going to be up to talking right now. Following the cord just lead him to look at the same show or whatever that he was watching. It was a cartoon, so it was gonna be a dumb kids show for sure.

He was obviously the more adult one of the two of them, but seeing as there was nothing better to do, he’d watch to see what was happening. Even dumb kid shows were better than boring eternities of whatever the fuck that yellow was. He bet he could even figure out what was going to happen in the show before it happened, because kids shows are so predictable and dumb, and he was neither a kid nor dumb.

So far he was getting nothing, and he wasn’t starting to get curious about the show. It was brightly coloured like a kids show, but it was still kinda interesting even if he didn’t know what was happening in most of it. He had figured out that the gross monstery animal things were the bad guys, but that was obvious because that’s how a lot of these shows worked. The colourful ladies were strong and from what he could tell from the normal coloured human guy he kinda sucked and was weak.

The best one of them was probably the one with the cool boxing gloves or whatever that made her punch real good. He wasn’t exactly sure what was happening, other than obviously no one told her what to do and that she was the boss. For a kids show he was making up the story to, it was actually pretty good.

Somehow despite getting to actually listen to the show, Sean pulled an earbud out and passed it over to him.

“I can start at the beginning if you want. It’d be a lot easier to follow along if you kinda know what’s happening. It’s a good episode too, and it really makes what happens in the later episodes a lot cooler if you ask me.” He said, pausing it and going back to the main menu. It seemed like he had already made up his mind to the fact that they were gonna go back to the first episode.

“Does that mean I have to watch all the boring beginning shit? Cause beginning episodes are always shit and awful cause they gotta do a bunch of explaining so you don’t get lost and you can still know what’s happening later on and stuff.”

“I mean I was only on episode three, so we weren’t that far along anyways. I think it does its pacing pretty good. And if you’re worried that there won’t be any fights and stuff, then they’re a fight with a big ol bug that’s really cool and it also has the main character do his weapon for the first time so it’s extra cool. And also Centi’s cool too. I think you’ll like her cause this isn’t the last time we see her and she’s extra good in all those other times we see her. And-”

He couldn’t exactly cover his mouth because he was also wearing a mask, but he could still shove his hand that he had used to flip off the yellow fuckery and also put in his headphone to roughly guess where his mouth was to get him to stop talking. But to further his point, he’d also say it outright.

“Stop spoiling shit! You’re just gonna ruin it if you tell me everything and then the whole show’s gonna be really dumb and there won’t be any reason to watch it cause you’ll have told me everything.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve left out a lot of cool stuff that’s in the show. You’ll see what I mean cause it get good really fast, and all the characters are cool except for Kevin and Marty who are awful and you just gotta ignore them cause they’re just slimeballs and bad.”

“Oh my god just hit play and stop talking you’re gonna give me like a million spoilers if you don’t what the fuck.”

“Alright alright. I’m putting it on.” They both had to shift a little to get comfortable, but the phone was moved to the middle part between the seats, and they both had to lean over for it to be kinda comfy. He held his side of the phone to make things even, but he still wasn’t going to let go of his dad. That hand was his forever now.

And now (until the phone dies) they had something to do for the roadtrip.


	7. Chapter 7

He had been there when they were planning out the routes, and that was because he was going to be one of the drivers. There was going to be plenty of stops through towns, and while it was a lot slower, it did help for the fact that they had foreseen there were going to be roughly a million stops along the way. They had planned a pretty late check in time, so there was plenty of time for all the chaos that would come from trying to transport something like twelve people at once in three cars with all their stuff across a province.

And there was no way that it wasn’t a good idea. They had probably started this trip in the most colourful way possible, because they still had at least another six hours to go, not counting any more stops they made. There was definitely going to be more of them, there was a lot that could go wrong in a six hour time frame.

But the main source of a lot of this mischief had settled down since someone had retaliated, and now that those two were separated, things had calmed down considerably. Why no one had decided to keep the two kids together before this was beyond him. Sean was an easy enough kid to get along with, and he was also probably the chillest nine year old to have ever been on this planet. It only seemed to make sense that his mellow attitude would spread to Jamie and then get him to relax a bit too.

Because now it didn’t really look like he was just all quiet because he had been spooked, he just seemed really invested in whatever it was that he was watching with Sean. That was certainly an improvement on the bored kid who was kicking seats and starting fights. It probably helped that he now had something to do and something to do with his seemingly never ending amount of free time that he now had and didn’t have anything to do with it. There were still the odd outburst, but that was to be expected. Jamie was a louder kid, and he was getting invested in the show he was watching. It was the kind of outburst that he didn’t actually mind.

All things considered, he was actually probably on the best behavior he had ever seen from him, so he figured that should get some sort of reward. It was probably about time that they ate anyways. It probably wouldn’t even be that far out of their way to go get something from a nearby drive through.

He gave a nudge to Eddy to get his attention and leaned in to make sure their conversation stayed a secret. And then once he got his attention they’d keep it a surprise until they got there. That way it was all the better for the kids. Hopefully Uncle Willow didn’t mind the sudden detour.

“How bout we just go through that drive through real quick before we set off onto the highway again. Like a little treat considering how good the kids have been for the last little stretch. And besides, we’ve got plenty of time left to go.” He bargained. He wouldn’t even mind switching spots with him so he could eat. It was about time that they traded spots anyways.

“I can’t see why not.” He grinned, flipping on his blinker and changing lanes. With a grin, he looked back to see if anyone was listening, but it seemed as though luckily his uncle was too far back and the kids were too absorbed in their show. The sudden lane change and the fact that they weren’t just going straight now did catch his uncle’s attention, but it got them a bit of a suspicious squint before he went back to his book.

No one was any the wiser and this was great for all of three minutes before prof man was blowing up his phone. He seemed none too pleased that his son was going off on a mild adventure with his half brother like this. This definitely meant that he was going to have to send him a picture once they had food. That was just too good to pass up considering how much he hated fast food. It was a dick move, but really it was some harmless fun and it was fine to eat bad food every now and again. He’d just send him a really quick message so that he knew that his son was safe. He should already know that, but there was no use being that big a dick.

 _“don’t worry. we’re just gonna grab a bite to eat real fast. we’ll catch up don’t you worry.”_ This did not settle the matter, because prof man was still all riled up about this. The messages were still coming in. But it was really too late to do anything. It was already happening and there was no stopping it now. There was no stopping the little food trip.

The excitement was not missed as they were starting to make their way to the drive through, and their actions were now crystal clear. He was fortunate enough to have turned his head at the right moment to see Jamie almost throw Sean’s phone into the roof as he cheered and startle Sean half to death as he barely managed to save his phone. He perked right up as soon as he figured out where they were going.

“So what’d you guys wa-“

“I want chicken fingers!” Jamie interrupted. He couldn’t really blame the kid for being excited. Fast food was usually always an exciting thing for a kid, and he was the very definition of an excitable kid. Sean just looked completely stunned by the affair, as if he had no idea that fast food was going to be an option, and had yet to piece together the fact that there was probably going to be a lot more of it in his future considering they were on vacation, as well as stuck going to a wedding.

“Just get me four snack wraps.” His uncle added, because now it was obvious what was happening so it didn’t matter of he finished his sentence or not.

“What about you Sean? You could get a burger or chicken or a grilled cheese.” He watched as the boy thought hard about this. This was obviously a very important choice to him, so he’d let him take his time. There was still some cars ahead of them so there was still time.

“How about a burger? Burgers are good.” And that was fair. Both boys had picked some fairly safe choices. Most of the times of chicken and burgers were safe choices, so odds were even if wasn’t the best burger or best chicken strips, they probably wouldn’t be that bad.

“Sounds good kiddo.”

And both he and Eddy knew what they wanted. They were adults with money, and that meant that they could do what they wanted with it most of the time when it wasn’t going towards rent and real person food. And that meant that they could eat fast food any time they wanted. They were pretty well acquainted with most fast food places, so they already knew what they wanted.

He sure hoped that these kids were ready to break the rules and eat in the car. They were going to break all the rules because there was already garbage in their car, so it wouldn’t make that big a difference to either of them if anyone made a mess. They were gonna go get the car cleaned after they got back from this trip probably.

But the best part about the fact about the fact that they were all eating in the car, was that he got to see how scandalous Sean felt about all this, because he knew that he wasn’t supposed to be doing this but yet here he was doing it. His uncle took it just as politely as Sean did, but Jamie had no problem grabbing his bag like a savage so he could get his food faster. The sheer contrast of the two kids and how they ate.

Originally, he wasn’t planning on it, but now he was sure that he wanted to have the picture be of both kids so that prof man (but probably more likely his Dad) could enjoy this. At the very least prof man would probably like how well-mannered and happy his son was.

_“I honestly cannot believe that you have allowed this to happen. We trusted you with our son and now you’re filling him up with garbage.”_

_“aw come on. look at him. he’s so happy. how can you say no to that face.”_ Then the messages stopped for a solid minute.

_“You win this round, Samuel.”_


	8. Chapter 8

So there had been some hiccups on this trip, and a minor incident that was probably going to mean that he would have to do something to make it up to his cousin because that minor incident involved his son. He hadn’t expected any of that to happen, but things were mostly resolved now. The two involved were separated, and even if the chances of something like that happening again were low he wasn’t going to allow the risk to even be there. Jamie was a smart kid, and even though Tybalt was a good kid (even if he wasn’t really much of a kid anymore) he doubted that Jamie would let there be any excuse for him to be near him and not have someone with him.

But with that minor incident and a few other hiccups along the way, they were still making good time. They even had enough time in case there were a few more hiccups (but hopefully not anymore incidents) to make it to the hotel with time to spare. He was really glad that they left so early. It really let them be a lot more relaxed on the way over because they weren’t as pressed for time. And that was really nice because it gave them time to do a little goofing around, and if it hadn’t been for the fact they had left so early, it would’ve also meant that there wouldn’t have been any time for the kids and Willow to go sneak off and get food, and that would mean that he wouldn’t have gotten a cute picture of the two boys (and by association, a really unfortunate picture of Willow).

He was glad that Vahn was nice enough to switch places with them at the last spot so that he could take a little break from driving and enjoy these pictures and messages that Sam had been sending him. He’d get little updates by little pictures that Sam snuck (He was starting to think that Willow was deliberately making sure that all shots of him were unfortunate. It was either that or Sean had been getting lessons from Sam on how to take unflattering pictures of people). It was a very good idea. So much so that he found it to be only fair that he send one back. It’d be a very fast one so it’d be just like the ones Sam had been taking.

Once it was sent he could look at it properly. He had caught himself mid blink, Vahn looked mildly irritated, and Rudy had his sleep mask on and Tybalt was-

Tybalt wasn’t there. At all. He obviously saw the phone and ducked out of sight, right? Messages from Sam would have to be put on hold for a second as he glanced into the seats behind him. It seemed as if Tybalt hadn’t squeezed himself somewhere in that row. It was a long shot, but maybe he was hidden in the very back row and not the middle? It’d certainly be easier to hide there.

“Hey, Rudy. Tybalt wouldn’t happen to be back there with you, would he?” Hopefully he was, because if not, this was most certainly an incident that they had on their hands. And a very very bad one at that.

There was silence as his brother took off his sleep mask, and looked at the seat next to him, then the seats in front of him. Then he made eye contact with him and it completely overwhelmed him with guilt because he had really messed things up this time. And not even in a minor way either. This was most certainly a big problem. Tybalt was missing.

“Vahn we need to go back to where ever our last stop Tybalt is missing we forgot Tybalt at the last stop or god forbid the stop before that Vahn we messed up oh no oh no oh no.” So maybe he was just panicking a little bit. But in his defense they had left someone behind on a road trip who even does that? He was the worst uncle ever. That was the only reasonable explanation, because what else could it be? That their car was cursed? Because that was just nonsense. He had to message the others so that they knew what was happening because they now had to turn around and go back who knows how far. He couldn’t even remember when the last stop they took was. This was a disaster!

_“Sam Tybalt’s missing      We’re going to go back to the last stop and see if we can find him there   We’ll meet up with you guys at the next stop lol”_

He honestly can’t believe that he’s done this. As soon as he’s back in the car there’s going to be the ambient music back on until they get to the hotel. Given how his brother looked right now, He doubted that there was any chance that that he’d protest any. It was actually the least he could do for him considering he had been left behind.

The worst part of this was that all of his stuff was in the car, so odds were that he didn’t have his phone. This was going to be so much harder because he didn’t have his phone because now they were going to have to carefully look around the past few stops to make sure that they didn’t miss him. Not only that but it also meant that if something happened to him while they were trying to find him that it’d be so much harder for him to call for help. This was all his fault for not making sure they were all there. He got careless, and now they were all paying the price.

It had been a thirty minute drive back to the last stop. And that was not counting the fact that they had to find somewhere to turn around safely, because you couldn’t just turn around on the highway. That was incredibly dangerous. The only perk that it had was that now they had a meeting point for when they came back with Tybalt in who knows how long.

He was waiting for them in the parking lot, looking very unimpressed, and he really couldn’t blame him. It had been an awful thing that he had done to him, and it felt even worse now that he could actually see him. He was just there all by himself. He didn’t look all that bothered and that pained him a little. Because it was as if he had accepted it and already come to terms with it. The poor boy.

Before even he could leap out of the car, Rudy had climbed over all the seats in the back to make sure that he was the first one out to greet his son. There was no comparing the terror that he had felt compared to what his brother was dealing with. But it seemed that he was going to instead hide his worry as rage, and he was storming over to him.

“You should know better than to wander off like that while we’re in the middle of a trip. Honestly. What if something happened to you? Now get in the car. And in the back seat so I can make sure that you aren’t getting into any more trouble by wandering off.” He could hear his brother lecture from the door that had been left open as Rudy ran off to greet his son.

The fact that they were talking again meant that there’d be no problem with the music being put on. And after all that, he was pretty sure that he now needed it too. It wasn’t much his style, but if nothing else, it was relaxing.

Tybalt and Rudy and returned to the back seats, and he was seated in the spot directly next to him. Now that everyone was in the car once more, the tension dropped considerably. The terror that had gripped the car had now passed, and the tension that had come from Tybalt being punished had gone with it. Now they could finally relax a little.

Sam had sent him an update picture, reassuring that everyone was still over there. He had even gone over to the other car to take a picture of them. He felt that it was only fitting that he sent him back one with all of them in it. And this time he was sure of it.

So now that was an hour out of their trip for his mistake, a few hiccups and two incidents. They were certainly going to be cutting it close, and he had singlehandedly burnt through most of the extra time that they had. This meant that they had to pick up the pace just a touch, and hope there were no more hiccups along the way. And they certainly could not afford anymore incidents.


	9. Chapter 9

They were all finding parking spots, and while they were busy doing that, he watched as his dad burst from their car to run inside. He wasn’t really the athletic type himself, but given how long he had been sitting there he couldn’t blame him. He was just about to do it himself really. And his run would be just as funny considering his butt hurt and he was pretty sure his legs had fallen asleep. It was also really lucky that they had Jamie with them. Because right as he was thinking it, he had gone ahead and said the sweary version of what he wanted to say.

“Why the fuck does Uncle Iam just get to get out of the car so early? I fucking hate being stuck in here! It’s taken all my goddamn life and I hate this!” He yelled, thrashing as if that would free him any faster. Any interest he had in watching shows with him had completely disappeared now that they had gotten to their hotel. And it was a really cool hotel, so he could completely understand the sudden loss of interest in the show. It might’ve also had to do with the fact that anywhere was cool after being stuck in a car for like nine hours. It felt like at least nine years. He was already dreading the trip back.

“Uncle Iam is probably just rushing in to make sure we didn’t miss out room reservations. Because if we do, we’ll have to drive around and try and find somewhere with openings so we can get rooms to sleep in while we’re all the way out here.” Uncle Willow explained. And then just as he was thinking it, Jamie went ahead and said it for him again.

“Wait they can just fucking take our rooms like that? That’s a thing they can do? Because if so that’s fucking bullshit and needs to be arrested right now.” It wasn’t exactly what he was thinking, but it was close enough. He was tempted to ask if he just said the first things that came to his mind, but he had a pretty good feeling that that was true. He loved his cousin, but he didn’t really think all the things he said out all the way and it kinda always came back to get him.

“Arrest who? The hotel? As in putting a building on trial?” Willow teased. Even if he wasn’t grumpy it would’ve certainly gotten a reaction out of him anyways.

“NO, ALL THE STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE THAT HOTEL FOR A LIVING THAT MAKE DUMB RULES!” He was really glad that he had already put away his phone, because it would not’ve been safe from Jamie losing his mind like this. As fun as it was to watch, it was not good for phones. Those break far too easily and he wasn’t sure if even his phone case could save it from the wrath of Jamie.

“Well If they’re all arrested then who’ll run the hotels? Because we can’t stay in them if there’s no one to run them, Jamie.”

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE! FUCK HOTELS THEY’RE ALL STUPID AND I HATE THEM.” He could really get behind his cousin’s meltdown. He felt the same frustration he did, but he was just too tired to go through with it. He could hardly believe that it was only one in the afternoon. It felt so much later than that. Was it because they had to get up at like one in the morning and then all his sleep got stupid because of it?

Too be nice, he felt that he could share at least one thing with his understandably grumpy cousin.

“At least soon we can lay down on not moving beds and sleep instead of trying to sleep in the car.” Because that was just an impossible thing to do, and even if you did fall asleep it was never gonna be a good sleep. It was just a waste of perfectly good sleep is what it was.

“I’M NOT TIRED YOU’RE TIRED FUCK OFF!” Now he just sounded cranky. He also had a feeling that it wouldn’t just be them who were going to have naps. He had a feeling that at least their car were probably all on board for naps right now. And that wasn’t just because Naps are great, but because they all needed them at this point. And he was pretty sure that everyone was just about ready for this day to be over. He doubted anyone actually liked road trips.

“Well you can still lay in the bed even if you’re not going to sleep in it.” Uncle Willow said, before adding in, “even if you do sound like a grumpy little jelly bean.” Which was enough to send Jamie into a yelling fit.

Mr. Eddy just looked really tired at this point, and he couldn’t blame him either. He did admire that he didn’t hit any cars as they circled the parking lot looking for open spots. Hopefully his dad had got their rooms, because there were roughly a million people at this hotel and he had a feeling that they were all here for the wedding. He didn’t have any proof but he had a strong feeling.

“I FUCKING HATE CARS WHY CAN’T WE FUCKING PARK ALL THESE ASSHOLES NEED TO MOVE!”

“Hey kid, I know we’re all thinkin it, but could you not scream in my ear?!” Mr. Eddy finally snapped.

“Jamie, we’re almost there. Just a little bit longer.”

“I KNOW WE’RE ALMOST THERE! I JUST DON’T WANNA BE IN THIS STUPID CAR ANYMORE CAUSE I’VE BEEN SITTING DOWN SO LONG MY ASS HURTS THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!”

“Hey Uncle Willow, how about you take the kids and see if my dad needs any help.” Sam offered, making him his new favorite person right now by giving him the chance to leave the car.

“Are you sure? I mean we can always stay until we find a spot and then all leave together.” He joked, getting an enraged shriek from Jamie. He almost wanted to reconsider his decision on this, but against his better reason he’d agree. He was too sore to be like stay here much longer anyways.

“Alright. I supposed I could abandon the team like this. Grab your stuff, kids. We’re gonna go see what’s happening in the hotel.” Really the joke was on him, because Jamie’s stuff had basically been backed this whole time, and he had his packed by the time they saw the hotel. He was a fool to think they weren’t ready to get out of this car right now immediately. Jamie’s shrieks turned to cheering, and he couldn’t help himself from giving a weak cheer. He was just so tired at this point. He was ready to go to their room and have a nap.

They had dropped them off close enough to the hotel doors so they wouldn’t have to walk all that way on legs that basically didn’t work anymore. It was nice of them considering Mr. Eddy looked ready for them to leave right then and there as soon as the offer came up. Jamie gave them some nice parting words, as if he wasn’t going to see them as soon as they parted.

“HAHA FUCK YOU GUYS. YOU HAVE TO STAY IN THE CAR! WE WIN!” He declared triumphantly as they drove off to find a spot. They had barely taken a few steps when Jamie had changed his mind about being tired, and then whined at Uncle Willow until he picked him up. He was a little jealous, but there was only so many children one person could carry, and he could see his dad right now so he only had to walk that much further until he could just be carried up.

He wasn’t even invested in the conversation that happened as soon as they got in there. Right now he didn’t care about the other people that were there. Instead he just made a b line straight to his dad and mimicked the soft whine that Jamie did, and was picked up. He was vaguely aware of some conversation that was happening around him. There was something about the fact that there was room troubles and that there was going to be a lot of juggling on their part. He felt as if he should really be more worried about this whole room mess than he was, but at this point he was basically just ready to fall asleep on his dad. He was nice and comfy, and he was probably an expert on holding people and he wasn’t even sure that was something you could be an expert on.

One of the oddest things was that it was actually impossible to sleep in a moving car sitting up, but it was the easiest thing in the world to fall asleep on someone who’s carrying you.

But who was he to question it?


	10. Chapter 10

This whole thing was a lot of bullshit. It had started off with a million years in the car, and now Uncle Iam had to talk to these guys for a million hours for some reason while the rest of them were stuck in the lobby. It was also bullshit that Astral’s car and Fuckface McBitey’s car got there before them.

It kinda made sense for Astral’s car to have gotten there first because somehow nothing fucking happened in their boringass car. Like actually nothing. They just drove here and made the same stops that they did, and they took the same route they did except he was pretty sure that he sped most of the way there so it’s gotta count as fucking speeding. He’d be pretty fucking pissed if it weren’t for the fact that their car sounded like it’d fucking suck to be in because there was nothing to do. At least no one would try to bite his finger off like a fucking lunatic.

But speaking of fucking lunatics who tried to bite off fingers, Fuckface McBitey’s car had no reason to have been the first car to arrive though. That car was probably cursed with some sort of bullshit fucking magic that Fuckface McBitey put on it to make this whole trip a million times more awful than it needed to be. He didn’t even need proof to know that he was right on the money with this one. He knew that he was an asshole who did bad things because he could and he had it out to get him so he cursed their fucking car and it was a miracle that it didn’t just fucking explode while they were driving. He’d remind them to count their blessings later.

Right now he was content to just fucking glare at that bastard who knew what the fuck he did. He couldn’t get him anyways, because he was safe in his dads arms and he was already in trouble for being an asshole and probably also for fucking off for not reason in the middle of the trip like that. No one fucking wanted to be there but they were all stuck anyways and he was just going to have to get a fucking straw and suck it the fuck up like he did. If anything he was probably the more mature of the two of them because he didn’t go around placing curses as he fucking pleased.

And if anyone asked, he most certainly did not hide even a little in his dad when that smug fucking asshole showed him his stupid fucking ugly teeth. Fuckface McBitey didn’t scare him in the least. Just because he knew what he was up to was no reason for him to get scared over it. He wasn’t some dumb little kid who got scared over the little tiniest thing like some crazy guy who tried to bite off his finger just today showing him his teeth again. He was too tough and cool to do a thing like that.

He was so invested in keeping an eye on that asshole that he almost missed the conversation that was happening over top of his head. He had barely picked up on the fact that they were now a room short, and had almost missed it thanks to that conniving bastard. He looked so smug about this too. This was probably his doing too to fuck with him further. He wasn’t sure what the fuck his deal was but he was sure that he wanted him to knock it the fuck out right now because he didn’t want any of this fucking bullshit that he was trying to give him like this.

“I don’t wanna be stuck with Fuckface McBitey over there! He had better have a room he can fuck off to away from me!” He wanted to make sure it was known to everyone. And so everyone could know that he was both a fuck face, and that he was bitey and dangerous and a bad person to be around in general. The world had to know and he didn’t even care if this was something that’d get him in trouble because now he was the winner in this situation, because maybe now that’d get them separate rooms.

He was shush and patted by his father, who wanted to quiet the truth for some reason, and it had better not be because he cursed him because then he’d really have to raise hell because no one was going to take his fucking dad from him. It wasn’t his fault that his dad was cool and his was a boring feelings doctor.

“It’s okay, Jamie. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.” His dad reaffirmed, before giving him an embarrassing kiss on the forehead in front of everyone. Who even does a thing like that! Unbelievable and embarrassing!

At some points Sam and Eddy came into the lobby. He wasn’t exactly sure when that happened, but it certainly happened at some point while he was keeping an eye on Fuckface McBitey. They were certainly here now though, and they were getting cards as Uncle Iam passed them out to everyone except him and probably Sean, but he was asleep so that couldn’t be counted. This was also something that needed to be pointed out because that wasn’t fucking fair.

“Why does Fuckface McBitey get to have a key of his own and I don’t? That’s fucking bullshit!” And it really was because he was way more trustworthy than him. He hadn’t even bitten anyone and he didn’t get lost on a car ride because how do you even do that. That’s clearly not key holder material.

“Don’t worry Jamie, the key’s not to your room. He’s going to be staying up with us, and the rest of you will be staying in a room together. It’s going to be cramped, but it’ll only be for a night or two.”

It was still bullshit, but he’d allow it. Everyone but him, his dad, Uncle Iam, Sean, Astral and Fuckface McBitey had gone to go grab all their shit from the cars, so that meant that the rest of them could go up to their rooms and check them out. It also meant that he could go up and claim the better bed because there were going to be less people there.

He wasn’t going to bother with Fuckface McBitey, because he had fucked off to go walk up the stairs. While in most circumstances he’d go after him to make sure he wasn’t planning any evil scheme or something and fuck up the hotel just to make sure that this trip sucked even more than it did already, there were more important things at the moment. Things that were roughly a million time cooler than that fuck head would ever be, and infinitely more important than him. There was an elevator that they were going to take to go up to their rooms. Fuckface McBitey was a fucking idiot because while he was probably planning his downfall or some shit like that, he got to ride the elevator. So take that you fucking loser.

Instantly healed by the bullshit that was that car ride by the splendour that was the elevator, he squirmed to get free.

“Lemme push the button!” And his dad being the great guy that he was, set him down and let him hit the button. He did so with a quiet boop.

And it was great hitting the button and seeing it light up. Pressing it more times got him nothing no matter how many times he said boop to go along with it, which was stupid planning. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to happen, but nothing did. And that was just disappointing and he hated it. But there were more buttons to be pressed on the inside so there was still that.

The door opened with a satisfying “bong” that went nicely with the little boops that he had given the button. All was not lost in this situation. So long as it kept going “bong” when the elevator got there, then there was still hope of this being great.

He had to be held back to let the people out, but once he was let go he ran right in there. He also had to wait for everyone to get in there, and he wasn’t sure what their problem was because they were all really slow about it and it was taking his whole life for them to get on there.

“Okay, we need you to press-“ His Uncle Iam started, but he already knew what to do so he was on it. As fast as he could, he pressed all the numbered buttons on the elevator, giving them a little boop every time he did so. And all four of them lit up and it was the best even if everyone else groaned.

And then he realized the reason for the groaning, it was a very good one at that too.

“AW FUCK, WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY BACK TOO!”


End file.
